Blame the humidity

I'm in a foul mood today. Yes...I'm suppose to be working, but here I am, sneaking up in my room typing a blog entry....LOL

I feel really down today, actually, I'm lying, I've been down since yesterday. I think it all started back on Tuesday when he said he doesn't know if he's interested in a friendship with me. Oh...no, I'm not upset about that fact, I'm actually upset about how I'm starting to find I probably feel the same way. No common ground, interest or social circle and meeting place, I guess when I thought through carefully, I didn't see a possible friendship there. There I was naively saying how I'm interested in being friends with him, and here I am thinking why the hell should I be bothered? Is he really worth the effort?! If he really wanted to be friends with me, then okay, there's a point, but if he's indifferent about it, then what the heck am I doing?!

Funny how I enjoy talking to myself so much these days. These are the sort of things I can't really complain to other people, since there's no correct answers, I'd just end up boring other people to death! LOL!!

I've been thinking about going to a cafe alone every weekend, establish a regular spot, preferably one of those on high street, and aquire a taste for coffee. I'm not exactly a fan of coffee, but I think it's an aquired taste, I was never into red wine before, and now I am, so maybe coffee will work that way? Who knows...Since I want to open a floral/coffee shop one day, that's probably a good idea to start liking coffee!! LOL!

It's times when I think logically, I really wonder why I liked him? Mum reckons it was just the face and height, outer appearance I fell for, but I really don't think it was as simple as that. In the relationship he did try, and he was nice to me, and focused on me. Just that there were too many differences between us that wasn't going to work. I'm somewhat annoyed with myself that when he finally decided to open to me, about he's "not" secret...which I totally think it sort of was, and I just couldn't accept him. *sigh* I'm disappointed in myself, but I'm a realist, I prefer a stable life, too many things about him screams unstability (sp?). It's really funny how I was reluctant to clear and explain so many things he thought wrongly about me. Was I careless? or was it a bigger problem that I was choosing to ignore? I guess I really don't know, I might when I loose feelings for him. I wonder when that'll be? It's still going up and down, I think it's about 50/50 now, the time I'm alright, and the time I'm not. The weather really is not helping.

I'm hating the weather today. I feel exhausted, about so many things.