New light

It was nice to be able to talk to him sort of normally again. He said there was no reason for me to explain again in an email, but then again, the email did get him to talk to me, so it must have achieved something, whether the explanation or what I truly feel, one way or the other.

I'm going to keep open minded of how things work, I've always thought I was someone with heaps of rules, but he seems to have more of those than I do, lol. I still miss him, and the subject we were discussing sort of affected my sleep last night, but I'm determined not to make any moves anymore, because I have done enough, and more from me, would just tip the balance of everything. Speaking from past relationship experiences...like twice. I wouldn't say it's the best thing, but it's for the better. I'm sort of speaking in riddles aren't I? LOL. I hope it was just a coincidence he mentioned acquired a taste for coffee in the conversation, at first I thought maybe I wrote it in one of the emails, but then found this is "the" place I've written about that....@.@ Still, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, since it's the most appropriate description for it.

I think being friends is the answer I feel appropriate for now, not that I don't still ask myself the questions like do I still have feelings for him? Yes. Do I want to be with him still? Hm....I do, but I can also see how many problems would be attached to it. All those time apart and thinking, I did figure out resolutions for a few problems, but not all of them. I never thought it was easy to fall in love for someone, but working a relationship seems to be so much harder. Anyway, I will not cross the line again, unless he wants more. I guess I'll feel this way for a wee while, but life's full of changes and surprises, I don't plan on keeping my word! lol.

Debating whether I should start eating more or not...lost 4 kgs since the break up *sigh* I guess just not having as much appetite. I hope no one else notices, otherwise I'd start getting the I'm disappearing comments again...lol.

It's funny how that's the 3rd breakup I've had in the month of May. There must be something wrong with that month, must be all that rain and wetness!!!


I miss him, but I'm doing nothing about it.
I'm in hibernationland.