Faults

I really should stop blaming myself.

Eventhough I had trouble accepting the one secret he's been keeping from me, but I wasn't going to give up, I didn't want to give up. He was the one who gave up. I didn't reject him, he chose to close up.

I'm tired of thinking.

I think I'm going to try to get rid of my msn watching addiction. *sigh* It's just everytime I've tried that, I ended up crying, just like what happened last night. Still, I'm going to try, because this is not getting me anywhere.

Funny how when I finally told him I'm thinking about giving up if he chooses to be non-respondent, he ended up initiating a conversation. I thought he wasn't sure if he still wanted to get to know me? *sigh* Doesn't matter anyway. I'm not giving the friendship thing up, but I'm tired of trying, so I'll just let it rest for awhile, and try to find myself.

I guess I'm giving him up for real this time, I'm sick of hoping he'd change his mind. I feel pathetic feeling that way. I'm better than that.