Inner debate

Currently reading Time Traveler's Wife, enjoying the language totally.

And again, I think of him again. I think about what we had, or what could be?

If not a thousand times, I've ended up with the same conclusion, it would not have worked.

We, would not have worked. We were miserable together. Yes, there were good times, but I'd be lying to myself if I say either of us were happy. I'm way past that lying stage.

I should be content that we've loved. Yes, he loved me, although he says he doesn't think of me anymore, but I can be certain that he loved me. He tried. Sometimes trying is just not good enough when it was just not going to work. It was indeed one of those situations.

I wonder how long I'll go on still having feelings for him?

I know deep down he's not the one. Yet, I'm still moved by him.

I wait for my very only soulmate, yet, he's no where to be seen. Or maybe I'm blind? So blind that I cannot see.

But, there is one thing I'm sure of:

That is, I'm happier without him.